Steve Biddulph, author of Raising Boys and Manhood, sells many fine books on fathering.

However, if you’re like me, you’ll start reading such books with good intentions, flick through for the summary  of key points  (probably miss out on the substance) then you’ll seek out  distractions like washing the kids, dog or if you’re really lucky, you may catch more than  a mere  glance at yesterday’s  sports section of the paper.

Lets get it clear! Your kid will need all three….

1. A mentor: Mentoring  is an informing role and is less nurturing than fathering.

“. A teenage boy needs other men to step in, who will teach him skills, give him a sense of worth and take him out beyond the family walls.”

With so many life options, our boys can actually do with a mentor to find a mentor. Where do you start?

Clubs (fishing, cricket, boating , sailing, hiking etc..) serve as ways that men can care for each other, teach boys, give them positive messages and provide a vehicle for character growth and maturation.

2 The Dad. Fathering is more then being a sperm donor, it is an essential part of raising kids of either sex.  Biddulph argues, in Manhood,  that the role of fathering has sunk to a very low level and cites four kids of defective fathering.

See tips on being an awesome dad.

3. The Role model is  usually a high profile personality. In our society they are typically  sports people. Your kids may never meet this person, yet still consider them to be a role model. These role models usually  fall within a finite stereo-type which may not fit with the personality type of your child.

When boys deviate from  standard male pursuits, such as rugby or cricket, their peers will  often give them a hard time. The debater, artist or musician will usually only be accepted  by his peers if he steps up on the footy field. Yet this gentler side is often seen as a  valuable asset much later in life. Just ask their Mum!

Boys need positive role models. Their dads, and other significant men in their lives, teach them how to be good men and provide ongoing  guidance on realising their full individual potential.

Boys need to be taught how to respect women. Their dads can teach them how to hold their emotions so a woman feels safe.

Boys need to be taught to do housework. Their dads can encourage them to be of service to others (e.g. by cooking others a meal) and connect to humanity.

But dads also play a big part in their daughters’ lives. Dads teach girls to understand boys, and mums teach boys to understand girls.

The modern-day dad is no longer just a breadwinner.

Dads have a significant role to play in raising their kids, loving their kids, and helping them be honourable, giving, and wonderful human beings. What a privilege.

For tips on affective fathering, here’s  10 Commandments  of Successful Fathering by Wayne Parker, About.com’s fatherhood expert.

1. Thou shalt talk with thy children.

2. Thou shalt spend one-on-one time with your children.

3. Thou shalt set rules and live by them.

4. Thou shalt not spoil thy children.

5. Thou shalt show love to thy children in their ‘love language’.

6. Thou shalt read with thy children.

7. Thou shalt love thy children’s mother with whom thou livest.

8. Thou shalt not speak ill of thy children’s mother.

9. Thou shalt know thy children’s friends.

10. Thou shalt protect thy children from danger.

As we say, becoming a dad, is easier then being one. Good luck to all of us!

References taken from, Manhood and Raising Boys, by Steve Biddulph.