• Do your best to chill out – adolescents is a passing stage and is completely  normal. Teenagers are entering adolescents which is a difficult time for them and most likely for you.

• Teens are discovering themselves and will demand more privacy – this doesn’t mean they are withdrawing!

• Give them space: They will want increased independency in what they do and how they think.

• Their communication skills, (grunts, sighs and eye rolling) may for a while, fall well short of the expectations commensurate with their education: remember this is a stage we have all gone through.

• Be patient, be supportive.

• Make sure you can talk with your peers about your teenager’s development.

Want to really know what they’re thinking? Effective communication is a good start.

• Make time. Kids get put off by being rushed about. They won’t talk on command, you need to invest and create the time. They won’t tell you what happened at school at 3:35 pm but will most likely open up to their days’ highs and lows over a chilled out family dinner.

• Prompt ‘em. To get started they may need some help. Maybe you start with how your day went or pick up on a topic that will interest them.

• Choose your words. Kids are very literal and as we all know it’s very hard to take words back. Think first.

• Listen. There’s a reason we have 2 ears and 1 mouth. Listen and avoid interrupting.

• Be engaged. Forget your own world, get inside their world. Laugh, give examples to demonstrate that you understand and are listening to them.

• Talk, don’t preach. Even today my own dad can’t help but talk at us. My natural reaction is to withdraw and talk about the weather. Talk at the same level, act and be interested.

Acknowledgments and references

Dadsclub.com.au forms its own opinion through its’ own expert contributors in addition to observations from third party literature, reviews, research, interviews and meetings.

Direct quotes will be referenced and acknowledged. Content from books and sites that have influenced a particular point of view will be referenced accordingly. In this instance:

Ian Bruce. 2005. How to be a great dad. Forward by Dr A Bradley. Foulsham. The Publishing House, Bennetts Close, Cippenham, Slough, UK.