Advice on adjusting to your new born, having sex again & more
Exhaustion is likely with a new baby son or daughter.
Your baby will not sleep through the night for several months. This can be hard on new parents. Newborn babies wake up to feed every few hours. Eventually, they will start sleeping longer. In the meantime, try to take turns at sleeping-in, go to bed earlier (and not necessarily at the same time), and nap. If one partner is rested, the other partner can function better.
When will we ever have sex again?
It is important to remember that after having a baby, mum needs time to recover. Good communication and not pressuring or rushing mum helps. Don’t forget to use birth control. Condoms and foam are a good choice if mum is ready for sex before she sees the doctor at around six weeks. Mum may be hesitant at first. However, with time (and some sleep), this shall pass.
For a happy family, it is important to talk to mum and maintain your relationship as a couple. Talk about something (anything) other than the baby.
Remember, mum is at home with your baby all day. You may be worried about balancing work and home. This may be a time to look at your options and talk to your partner about them. Plan to spend time together. Go on a date.
|
Problem |
Causes |
What to do? |
| Crying baby | Hungry | Feed your baby. |
| Tired | Rock baby gently in your arms or in a cradle. | |
| Gassy | Burp baby during and after feeding. | |
| Bored | Change baby’s surroundings. | |
| Cold | Bundle baby in blanket or put on another layer of clothing. | |
| Uncomfortable | Take off a layer of clothing if baby is too hot. Make sure nothing is pinching or poking baby. |
|
| Smelly and damp | Change nappy (and clothes if necessary). | |
|
Problem |
Causes |
What to do? |
| Crying mum | Normal baby blues | Be supportive and reassuring. Be patient. |
| Overtired and overwhelmed | Encourage mum to nap, take over as many household chores as possible (take initiative and don’t wait for mom to ask for help), limit visitors; tell her what a good job she’s doing. | |
| Postpartum depression | Encourage mum to seek professional help if feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, fatigue and inadequacy persist. | |
|
Problem |
Causes |
What to do? |
| Breastfeeding difficulties | Sore nipples | Help with positioning and latch. |
| Full and/or sore breasts | Encourage mum to get help before she stops breastfeeding. Encourage mom to feed more often. Sore or tender breasts are normal when milk comes in – this too will pass. |
|
| Mum and baby learning what to do | Support and encourage mum. | |
|
Problem |
Causes |
What to do? |
| Spots, blotches, red rash | Normal newborn rash (anywhere on body) | Nothing. It takes a while for baby’s skin to get used to air so they tend to get a lot of rashes, spots, etc. |
| Nappy area | If it looks strange, compare notes with mum. Speak with a Health Nurse or Doctor. | |
| Thrush (white spots in baby’s mouth that look like milk curds) | Go to the doctor as baby needs medication for thrush–mom also needs to see the doctor if she is breastfeeding. | |
|
Problem |
Causes |
What to do? |
| Cone head | The birth process | Nothing. Baby’s head will become less pointy in a very short time. |
|
Problem |
Causes |
What to do? |
| Anything | Don’t know | Call your local Doctor |
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Remninds me of that line in Steve Martin’s movie “Cheaper by the dozen” where the mum says on having 12 kids….”after the fifth the rest just walked out” Wow would that affect sex!