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It felt that three kids today was where it must all stop. On the news that we are expecting our third child, my work colleagues and mates have given me a sobering reception. Comments like, why?, are you sure?, now you need to get a new car, say good bye to holidays, and you’ll be working for the rest of your life are certainly different responses to the virile celebration received on the news of babies one and two.

It did get me thinking, however, of the physical, emotional and financial responsibly that comes with a family of five, which then got me thinking about capping our child household population here and now. In contemplating a vasectomy I was not sure whether I was enriching or diluting my manhood. Was I really ready for THE BIG SNIP?

In gathering the data to reach a decision, on what is arguably the safest form of contraception, my most salient concern was what one man described to me as “self mutilation”. Here’s more on what I found…..

A Male perceptive in the case for: Mike claims it has been one of the best things he’s ever done

“I would never look back…it has given us a clean break. For me it was a small inconvenience that demonstrated a significant commitment to my wife and kids.

It only took 20 minutes, sure I felt like I had been kicked in the balls, but the pain didn’t last too long. You need to remember that you have to use condoms for a while, until the sperm canal is completely clean, but then you are 99.9% safe.

After everything my wife has gone through with the pregnancy and delivery of our 4 kids it was the least I could do.

The sex is the same, it makes no physical difference. Any problems are all in the mind”.

A Male perceptive in the case against: Andy reckons it’s unnatural to have unnecessary surgery

“I liken it to how a woman describes how she feels after a mastectomy; it’s like having part of what defines you as a woman / man removed. How can you get over something like that, especially when this is an elective procedure?

I would feel castrated, impotent, I wouldn’t be able to father kids and that’s fundamental to me being a man.

It seems unnatural to me to have surgery just because I can’t be bothered to use a condom. I get why animals get de-sexed, but not us humans!

Any surgery can be risky, and because it’s elective I see it as a waste of health resources.

A vasectomy assumes that my present relationship will be my last. One of the good things about being a man is that you can have a child at pretty much anytime and who says I won’t want one at 60? Look at Rupert Murdoch.”

A consistent Female perspective…

Angela: “With Vasectomy reversals now quite widely available and successful, men have more choices than ever. As a woman who had a hysterectomy at a very young age, I find the whole loss of manhood d/ womanhood ludicrous. The ability to produce offspring is not what defines you as a man or a woman.

From this woman’s point of view, abstinence is preferable to condoms. However easy to use, it just isn’t the same!”

Kate: “I have contraception allergies and can only use condoms which we both hate”

Fran: “I have carried, endured labour and given birth to 5 children, I think it’s the least I could expect from the father of my children.”

Reversible contraceptive methods….

There are of course other alternatives to the snip. Despite the medical industry claiming high successes with reversing a vasectomy, I tend to think once you’ve done something the chances of complications with undoing them increase exponentially, especially when it comes to needles, scalpels and my balls! Here’s a range of reversible contraceptive alternatives…..

Each form of contraception has its positives and negatives; however, it does seem the pill has significant advantages over other forms of reversible contraception.

In lieu of me having the snip, this is what my partner could elect to do….

• Condoms – their strength is STD protection. For us this is not a concern. However, these rubber fella’s do a have a high failure track record. Compounded with the time it takes for their correct use, they do rob us of the intimacy we all love (and need!).
• Depot hormonal injection lasts up to 3 months
• The contraceptive implant lasts up to 3 years
• The hormonal IUS (intrauterine system) and the IUD (intrauterine device) each last up to 5 years, but do require doctor intervention
• The contraceptive ring is a plastic, hormone-impregnated device placed inside the vagina and is good for 75% of the month
• The Pill is reportedly the most effective and has positive side benefits such as regulating periods, clearing acne and decreasing cancers. The pill is widely accepted, readily accessible and from all accounts, inexpensive. Surely this has to be the best option?

The medical details on The Snip (taken from Male Health )

Defined…. A vasectomy is a sterilisation operation for men in which the vas deferens – the two tubes that carry sperm from the testicles to the seminal vessel – are cut and the ends heat sealed. As a result when semen from the seminal vessel is ejaculated during love making, it doesn’t contain any sperm. It takes about twenty minutes.

Does it work? Yes. Once all remaining sperm has gone from the seminal vessel, vasectomy is 99.8% effective in preventing pregnancy. However, ensuring that the seminal vessel is sperm-free can take some time and samples of your semen will be examined at least twice. It may take three months before you’re declared sterile and able to have sex without using any other form of contraception.

How quickly will I recover? At first, you’ll be sore and there may be some swelling and bruising and general discomfort. If it doesn’t ease after a few days, you’ll need to see your doctor. You’ll need to avoid heavy lifting, exercise and sex for at least a week and more strenuous exercise like football or rugby for at least a month. However, you could be back at work in three days. Wear comfortable, supportive underpants or a jock-strap.

What is a no-scalpel vasectomy? Instead of one or two scalpel cuts, forceps are used to make a single opening about 5mm long in the scrotum through which the tubes are accessed. As a result, recovery is faster and the risk of infection and bleeding reduced. However, the operation is slightly more complicated and surgeons require additional training.

What are the advantages? Vasectomy is the single most effective method of contraception. It’s relatively quick and painless. In 1999 out of 2000 cases, you’ll never need to worry about unwanted pregnancy again. (A vasectomy does not protect against sexually transmitted diseases or the HIV virus.)

What are the disadvantages? In about one in 2000 cases the vas deferens can reunite and unwanted pregnancy result. Infection and other complications are rare in vasectomy and the more common ones tend to resolve themselves relatively quickly. However, there is some risk with any surgery. It is unlikely that vasectomy increases the risk of prostate cancer although some studies have suggested (but not proved) that there is an increased risk of heart disease.

For additional medical advice see your GP.

The verdict…

Armed with a cold beer or two, I review the facts, prior discussing my point of view with the wife:

1. The case of loss of manhood is an insipid spin. It is a truer man to think of others over ones own ego. After all, I will still have 2 balls. This is hardly self mutilation.

2. Established reversible alternatives are incumbent on my partner. Given her enduring the journey of pregnancy and labour, was this really fair?

3. I have often been driven to rise above the norm and felt that I may one day want to make my contribution of seeing the national fertility rate continue to exceed it’s now 31 year record of 1.97

4. Sticking to 3 kids would see me conforming to Peter Costello’s proclamation to have one child for mum, one for dad and one for Australia. Should I give him this satisfaction?

5. But, could we really afford a surprise? A 2008 web survey conducted by Marie Stopes International Research shows that 60% of women who experienced unplanned pregnancy were using contraception. Could we rely on anything less certain than a vasectomy?

6. Do I really want to endure the emotional and physical consequences of having someone re-wire my gonads?

7. Abstinence is not an option!

The outcome

I did it. The process was consistent with my research. There was pain, it was uncomfortable emotionally and physically, but this has all passed. The best way I can describe this experience is that it was like being kicked in the balls, then they gave me a hand full of condoms and said “you’ll need to now clean the pipeline out”…I felt I had done the right thing and laughed.

Some post snip advice: avoid walking round a golf course, rumbling with the kids or riding a bike for at least a week after you sacrifice your fertility. Live with your decision and move on.

What would you do?