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Contraception after kids: weighing up the alternatives

Posted by Dave on November 25, 2009 8 Comments

snipballsIn contemplating what 33% of Australian families have done, a vasectomy, I was not sure whether I was enriching or diluting my manhood. Was I really ready for THE BIG SNIP?

When it comes to putting the family jewels on the line, one needs to thoroughly explore all options. The contraceptive criteria in this exercise are threefold: reliable, safe and reversible, the various options are best classified into (1) the snip (2) other male contraceptives and (3) female centric contraceptives. Abstinence was not considered an option.
(1) The snip
A visit to the website http://www.malehealth.co.uk/ is a great start on learning how a vasectomy works, the recovery time, advantages and disadvantages. Once all remaining sperm has gone from the seminal vessel, a vasectomy is 99.8% effective in preventing pregnancy. However, other sources suggest that vasectomies are not always easy to reverse. For additional medical advice see your GP.
A Male perceptive in the case for a vasectomy:
Mike claims it has been one of the best things he’s ever done:
“I would never look back…it has given us a clean break. For me it was a small inconvenience that demonstrated a significant commitment to my wife and kids.
It only took 20 minutes. Sure, I felt like I had been kicked in the balls, but the pain didn’t last too long. You need to remember that you have to use condoms for a while, until the sperm canal is completely clean, but then you are 99.8% safe.
After everything my wife has gone through with the pregnancy and delivery of our 4 kids it was the least I could do.

The sex is the same, it makes no physical difference. Any problems are all in the mind”.
A Male perceptive in the case against a vasectomy:
Andy reckons it’s unnatural to have unnecessary surgery:
“I liken it to how a woman describes how she feels after a mastectomy; it’s like having part of what defines you as a woman removed. How can you get over something like that, especially when this is an elective procedure?
I would feel castrated, impotent, I wouldn’t be able to father kids and that’s fundamental to me being a man.
It seems unnatural to me to have surgery just because I can’t be bothered to use a condom. I get why animals get de-sexed, but not us humans!
Any surgery can be risky, and because it’s elective I see it as a waste of health resources.
A vasectomy assumes that my present relationship will be my last. One of the good things about being a man is that you can have a child at pretty much anytime and who says I won’t want one at 60? Look at Rupert Murdoch.”


A consistent Female perspective on vasectomies…

Angela: “As a woman who had a hysterectomy at a very young age, I find the whole loss of womanhood ludicrous. The ability to produce offspring is not what defines you as a man or a woman. Men should step up to have vasectomy.”
Kate: I have contraception allergies and can only use condoms which we both hate; it’s a vasectomy or abstinence!”
Fran: “I have given birth to six children; I think a vasectomy is the very least I could expect from the father of my children”

(2) Other male contraceptive options:
http://malecontraceptives.org identifies several alternatives to a vasectomy that will guarantee to have any man squirm, yet fail to instill any confidence in the essential contraceptive criteria: reliable, safe and reversible.
• Suspensories: warm the testes by a few degrees netting a significant negative impact on spermatogenesis.
• Condoms fall short on the enjoyment factor and have a dubious safety rate.
• RISUG is an injectable compound that partially blocks the vasa deferentia (tubes that carry sperm), providing effective contraception for up to 10 years per dose.
• Injected plugs were developed in China as a potential alternative to vasectomy.
• Researchers are coming closer to a marketable male hormonal contraceptive (MHC) delivered by injection or implant, but there is nothing commercially available right now.
• Others include the: Dry orgasm pill, Adjudin which disrupts the process of sperm maturation in the testes, injected plugs and more.

(3) Female centric contraceptives
On average, women have tried 3 to 4 different types of contraception and satisfaction rates are less than 60% for all except tubal ligation, (Rosenfeld 1993). Contraception has to be reliable, safe and reversible and many on the market today — condoms, the pill, injections, implants, diaphragms, IUDs, jellies, foams, sponges, tubal ligation and so on —fall short on one or more of these criteria.
A 2008 web survey conducted by Marie Stopes International Research shows that 60% of women who experienced an unplanned pregnancy were using some form of contraception.
Many contraceptives are simply not reliable enough for long-term use. For instance, condoms, used by 13% of married couple in developed countries have a typical failure rate of one in eight. Sponges, caps, diaphragms, and spermicides are even more likely to fail (BWHBC 2005).
The pill, tubal ligation and IUDs are over 99% reliable yet it has been reported that some women who stop hormonal contraception cite unacceptable side effects as a reason for quitting; nausea, headaches, weight gain, depression, loss of libido, or menstrual problems. Modern IUDs are safe and effective, but suffer from the stigma associated with the Dalkon Shield scandal.
Dr Cindy Pan claims that the pill has positive side benefits such as regulating periods, clearing acne and decreasing certain cancers such as ovarian by 40%, and cancer of the uterus by 50%. The pill is widely accepted, readily accessible and from all accounts, inexpensive.
Getting one’s tubes tied is not readily reversible.

Weighing up the alternatives came down to:
Essential criteria: The contraceptive method had to be reliable, safe and reversible. This ruled out most of the alternatives, leaving the snip, the pill, tubal ligation and IUDs
• ‘Uncomplicated’ reversible options excluded the snip. Established reversible alternatives such as the pill and IUD are incumbent on my partner to use and manage. Given her enduring pregnancies and labours, was this really fair?
• 99.8% protection: Could we really afford a surprise? That 60% statistic of unplanned pregnancies (who were using contraception) did not stack up as safe odds. Could we rely on anything less certain than a vasectomy?
• Ego: Although Andy really got me thinking, his case for the loss of manhood is, to me, a weak argument. It is a truer man to think of others over ones own ego. This is hardly self mutilation.
• The case against permanency.
What if Andy was right, maybe I will want to father another child later in life. Reversing a vasectomy would surely put my scrotum through unprecedented trauma (again!).
The ‘drama’ of a vasectomy. What must it be like to have someone re-wire one’s family jewels? Let alone endure a reversal down the track.

What did I do?Nothing as yet, having quite hung up the boots, but here’s what my mate said….
“I did THE SNIP; I joined the 1 in 3 dads around Australia and capped my brood.

The process was consistent with my research. There was pain, it was uncomfortable emotionally and physically, but this has all passed. The best way I can describe this experience is that it was like being kicked in the balls, then they gave me a hand full of condoms and said “you’ll need to now clean the pipeline out”…I felt I had done the right thing for our personal situation and eased ever so carefully into the seat of that cab. There was no sense of a loss of man-hood; after all I still have 2 balls.

Some post-snip advice: avoid walking round a golf course, rumbling with the kids or riding a bike for at least a week after you sacrifice your fertility. No need to rush to the pub and share the news, share it with a mate or two, this is not broadcast news. Do it in your own stride, preferably on a quiet week. Live with your decision and move on. “

WHAT WILL YOU DO?

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8 Comments »

  • Jonno says:

    Keeping healthy sperm….in case you’re not considering contraception:
    1. avoid spa baths, saunas and hot baths. wearing boxer shorts may also help things cool don in there
    2. Fertility can be affected by stimulants – go steady on drugs
    3. Studies show obesity lowers fertility, I guess if you’re looking for a contraception – chow down baby
    Smoking cigarettes kills off the little tadpoles, but I’m sure smko0esr are killing a lot more than that and they probably know it.

  • noel says:

    There is a nother side to having a vasectomy.
    Make sure this is what you want to do!!!
    Having done this for the wrong reasons, There is a big feeling of having your manhood cut out.
    Personal reactions afterwards become more agressive and depression is always just around the corner.
    Remember, this will not improve marriage, sexlife or relationship.
    personal experience of fighting with the wife, surgery staff and picking the wrong man to do the operation didnt help. But it has only been six weeks, lets try again after six months or six years.
    Dont announce the fact. Snide comments from workmates of both sexes. Even other health care proffesionals cant help but tell about their personal experiences or problems that have been reported.
    So do this with informed consent as they say. Not because you think its the right thing to do.
    Just my thoughts
    Noel

  • [...] The real man’s tool box by Tammy Farrell. 11. When it’s time to hang up the boots, commit to that vasectomy. 12. Be happy, if your job sucks, move on: take control. Tips to make 2010 your [...]

  • Dear Old Dad says:

    ……..Just another thought to add to my last post re my decision to have children again after the snip…
    When we were to leave the IVF clinic in Perth for the last time we had to formally advise what we wanted to be done with the straws that were still in their care frozen and waiting.
    Our decision was always to donate to allow others to have the joy that we enjoyed, however it was not as simple as that.
    We both attended the clinic and were separated and interviewed.
    We were then interviewed together.
    The choices were to donate, medical science, or destroy.

    The interview process was quite involved and well worth the 1/2 day that it took.
    The subjects and scenarios that they put to us contained many issues that we had not thought of, and whilst very informative our resolve was not altered in any manner.

    About 7 months after this we received a phonecall from a voice we recognised, yet the person did not identify herself and the message was very brief.

    ” I am so pleased to tell you guys that out of the remaining 12 straws we found 9 perfect matches and 5 of those are in process now”

    Tears of joy from both of us and perhaps a knock on the door in another 12 years or so. I’d like that!!
    Dear old Dad

  • [...] In an interview  with The Australian  Women’s Weekly, Mr Abbott said women should try to stick to “the rules” on sex before marriage if they could not abstain, they should use contraception. [...]

  • Simon Spruce says:

    I have to admit it took a bit of convincing, but after 6 children it was the best decision.
    It may be different if i was not in a happy marriage with no intention of it ever ending.
    Yes the week of discomfort was worth it.

  • Sam says:

    Encouraging thanks Simon. We have just learned that we are now expecting our 4th. so with your six, it’s encouraging to hear such optimism!
    Have you found that your announcement of each succesive expectant child becomes less celebratory.
    For example on kids one and two there were cheers and celebartions, come #3, it was WOW now you’re gonna have to get a new car, is your house big enough, will you be moving to the suburbs and now with the 4th it’s like doom and gloom. Mates, family and even looks on the street with pregnant wife plus 3 kids is like…”woo man you’ll be working for the rest of your life, you poor dude”. it is like society frowns on us who have yet to have the snip!

  • Noel says:

    Hullo,
    I just thought that I would put across another view of the vasectomy theory.
    I have a group of about four men and we met randomly. Everbody gave me glowing reports about how it was going to be like. I was the last to have this operation.
    For anyone reading this, do not do this without alot of fore thought.
    Personally I was bullied into this by my wife for about the period of five years so she was patient. I was not happy about doing this but years of “it will be much harder for me to do this type of thing” prayed on my mind.
    Having this operation was a textbook operation. I chose a specialist who has the most experience in this area and was seen as not only an expert but a trainer in this area.
    Unfortinuately, he and his staff had the professional distance that bordered on contempt of the patient.
    None of my questions or concerns were addressed or even answered after a dvd display I was told to watch/had thrown at me. So if this is athe best in victoria, I am not impressed with the medical profession
    So with a poor experience before during and after. I have been in a depression haze and would not recommend on any level.
    So Yes I have had one, recommend it. NO!

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