Well done! You’re going to be a dad. That was the easy part. Being a dad starts before Baby arrives. Here are some tips on the lead up to the big day:

1. Support – as if you wouldn’t!??? Pregnant women go through a huge range of hormonal changes which ain’t easy. Be a sport and support her through the peaks and troughs. It’s unlikely you’ll understand what’s going on all the time, but try and pretend you do.
2. Helping out in ways she never knew you could. Even if you’re a lousy chef you can really impress your Mum-to-be by ensuring she and Baby are getting essential nutrients. www.dadsclub.com.au provides bloke friendly tips for healthy eating and recipes that will make you a bigger star than what you already are. In the first trimester when Mum needs a surge of energy and Baby is developing the central nervous system, spine and brain, focus on meals that include food with high folate content, such as green leafy veggies, nuts, banana, papaya and berries.
3. Baby brain. Careful when and where you use this term. Forgetfulness and illogical actions are typical e.g. finding the mail in the fridge. Smile and don’t make a big deal out of relinquishing golf to go baby shopping at IKEA on a Saturday morning!
4. Be engaged and proactive. Clearly you’ll act interested. Follow the development of her and the Baby through all the milestones, she’ll have at least 35 books on pregnancy, there’s bound to be some easy pictures you can relate to within one of them.
5. Talk. Women love it when we talk. Share your feelings and understand hers. I know shoving needles in your eyes often seems a more attractive option, but remember it’s not you that’s got the baby growing inside you!
6. Sex. Providing the pregnancy is progressing normally – check with your doctor – there is no apparent reason why you both can’t enjoy getting your leg over all the way through. Towards the end you may find it is recommended to assist with a healthy delivery. Getting your leg over gets more interesting as the bump gets bigger. Go for more creative positions. Enjoy!
7. Be prepared for the birth. Roll the rugs up, be involved with the hospital bag and keep the petrol topped up in the car. The baby is likely to come at an inconvenient time. She’ll have a birth plan – know it and be supportive about sticking to it. Be reassuring in all that you say and do. No matter what type of person your partner is, be prepared to be surprised, she may swear and use expletives in unprecedented demonic ways.
8. Don’t say this. Trust me, they do not want to hear “that there’s nothing to fear, after all, thousands of babies are born everyday and most keep coming back.” Be empathetic with what they are about to do. Delivering has been described as launching a water melon covered in barded wire through the eye of your penis. Fear comes naturally – be her rock!
9. Ready for the arrival. Reassure her of her very well thought out birthing plan. But be prepared for anything from here on. False alarms are common and so are early arrivals. My very squeamish golfing mate reminded me of the time he had to deliver the baby in the car, with the 2 kids in the back seat watching everything, chanting and clapping. “The baby’s coming, the baby’s’ coming”. I’ve known guys to wrap the inside of their cars in plastic; at a minimum have some towels. Being prepared also means the house is equipped. In addition to having a nursery ready, be sure to address the more mundane, like keeping the fridge well stocked, having a dust free clean house and staying ahead of those bills. From now on time has just got that much scarcer.
10. Resources. Unless it’s your twelfth child and it virtually walks out (refer the movie, Cheaper by the Dozen) you’re probably in for the long haul. Books, movies, cards and music are well worth having. Many expecting mums will opt to also have some female support, be it sister, mother or friend. On all accounts, this is a very good idea, for you and her.
11. Paternity leave. New fathers who are primary care givers are entitled to ‘long paternity leave’, totaling up to 52 weeks continuous unpaid leave. It’s unlikely you’ll have the cash or sanity to stay at home for a full year, however, a prudent way of keeping home and work at bay is to do several half weeks. This way the family gets you more, your boss is not left in the lurch and you have the added peace of mind of still earning that much need cash.
12. You! This is a great time for you too. You may experience a range of emotions, from sheer euphoria to some uneasiness about the added responsibilities you have now inherited. Sleep depravation is guaranteed, and be aware of PND for Mum and in limited cases, you. Whilst Baby is sleeping and eating (there’s lots of that) you can start to plan all the great things you can do together from today onwards by going to www.dadsclub.com.au

From here on, these are great days, but you may do well to cancel that newspaper subscription, as it is unlikely you’ll ever get the chance to read one for some time.

Taken from www.dadsclub.com.au the site for Aussie dads, and as seen in Cosmo Parenting Autumn issue 2010

RELATED POSTS

• Tips for 1^st trimester
• Healthy eating tips for Mum and baby